Every business that has called your residence home has failed.
This is an open letter to the new Pdx Hawaiian establishment that shall remain nameless. A few suggestions to avoid the same fate.
- Free Wifi – Your Wifi is private. You are a lunch destination. Lunch destinations are populated by workers who are on their lunch break. Workers need to be connected, or they will not return to your disconnected establishment.
- Rice with a Side of Rice – When serving customers a rice dish, one of the sides should not be rice. Unsure why this even has to be explained to you. Instead, give me some nice greens in the form of cabbage.
- In & Out ( the fiddlers elbow ) – You have one door to enter and exit. This is a problem when that door leads directly into the ordering line. When your customers get their food they don’t want to walk back through the ordering line. It’s annoying, and not very pleasant for those who are hungrily standing in said line. You need a separate exit. This may even be a matter of safety.
- You’re Porked – You are a Hawaiian establishment. Your cache is pork. You serve it on a dry bed of rice. If your pork is dry you’re done, like dinner. Customers want their pork to infuse goodness into the patiently waiting parched rice below. Add some sauce or leave some juice.
- Disgusting Slobs – When the three of us left your establishment with a satchel full of pork you included 1 napkin in the to go bag. This left us each with 33% of a paper napkin to clean our pork laden faces with. We were ridiculed.
- Price – Your price per item is approximately $1 too high. This is Portland. We expect lunch to be under $9 for to go pig.
We hope you take these under advisement as we truly do want you to succeed where others have failed. We will give you one more chance. We will not announce when this will be.